Three tools to stop the mind games that people play
Q Trap shooter Gloria asks Bob: The other day I was going out to shoot and someone made a comment. How do I get that out of my mind and get my mind back on shooting?
That is a great question from the point of view of both you and the person who distracted you.
The first thing you need to do is to realize that the person who made the comment knew what they were doing, either consciously or subconsciously. In North America we are a very competitive lot and we do a lot of things to mess others up. Now this person who did this would likely be appalled if you accused them of throwing you off your game. It is so automatic that we can’t help it sometimes. So, for starters, if the person who made the comment is hearing this, or you are someone who is prone to giving advice because you think it is helpful, don’t – because it isn’t.
For you, since you’ll never muzzle all the comments, you have to learn how to deal with them. Here are three suggestions to try out:
1) See if you can get away for 30 minutes before your round. I call it the 30-minute rule and it works to avoid most of the chatter. I teach various strategies you can do in this period of time but just getting away from comments can help.
2) After every conversation, before you head off to do your 30 minutes of prep, take a mental shower. I imagine reaching up to pull the chain and all this imaginary water pours down and cleanses me of whatever comments were made to me. I’ve taught this to medical practitioners and other professionals who need to stay unaffected by some seriously sick people (and I’m not suggesting people who make comments to you are seriously sick).
3) Replay the comment in your head and then “play” it backward in a way where you imagine it all garbled up. Play it forward, then backward again. Do this several times faster and faster. This is a bit like running a nail across an old vinyl LP and after a while you’ll make no sense of it. You may even forget the original troublesome comment!
Have fun with these strategies and see which one works best for you. And if you’d like to make people like this disappear, not like Tony Soprano does, but with the strategies as a part of my program, give me a call.
Bob Palmer, SportExcel
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